Chapter sixteen

Jon yawned while walking down the stairs. God, he was so tired. But who would expect that the BBQ would take so long last night. Well, actually he was only half of the time with his guests. He just wasn’t able to wake Kris when she felt asleep in his arms. She looked so peaceful, he just couldn’t wake her. It didn’t matter that he could hear his family and friends outside or that he was getting hungry. The only thing that matter was this beautiful blond girl in his arms, who finally trusted him.

He shook his head. She was a bit embarrassed that she felt asleep when she woke up, but for him it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He loved to watch his kids sleep. When Steph and Jesse were still babies, he could sit for hours beside their beds and watch them. Dot always had to come and more or less drag him to bed.

When Jon and Kris entered the tent everybody was looking at them. And Jon could see that Kris again wasn’t comfortable with this attention. But before he could say something Jesse jumped up and ran to his older sister.

“Kris, come over there. Steph and I made sure there’s a free seat for you.” The little boy grabbed her hand and pulled Kris along with him. “You have to taste the burgers, they are great….And Mommy said we can have marshmallows later.” He looked at her all excited.

Jon laughed and looked at Dot. “How much of the lemonade did he already have?”

Dot grinned. “Two glasses…and it’s your job to get him to bed today!” The other adults in the room chuckled about Jon’s shocked face.

Yeah, it wasn’t easy to get his son to sleep last night. Jon yawned again and rubbed his face. Hopefully Jesse and Steph won’t fall asleep today at school.

“Good morning.” he greeted his family when he entered the kitchen.

“Morning, darling.” Dot turned around and gave him a quick kiss. She was busy preparing the kids’ lunchboxes.

“ ‘ning.” Steph and Jesse mumbled while eating their cereals. They were still tired.

“Where’s Kris?” Jon asked while giving his two little ones a kiss.

“Still upstairs. She was in the bathroom when I knocked at her door.” Dot replied cutting an apple in small pieces.

Jon glanced at his watch. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dot put a coffee mug in his hand. “Give her some more minutes before you go upstairs.” Jon smirked.

A couple minutes later Kris entered the kitchen. She felt like shit. She was sweating like hell, but cold at the same time, pale like a wall and could barely breathe. Coughing she leaned against the door frame and groaned. Everything was spinning.

Jon put his coffee mug down and walked over to her. “Sweetie, are you ok?” he asked worried and touched her forehead. Kris’s only answer was another coughing. It sounded like a car with motor problems.

“Jeez. You are hot!…Sweetie, look at me, please.” Jon softly touched her chin so he could look into her eyes. She could barely open them. Coughing again she leaned strongly against him. Jon could feel her trembling.

“Ok, that’s it! You stay at home.” He said and picked her up. “Come on, I’ll bring you back to bed.” Dot nodded.

“I’ll call Dr. Miller and bring the kids to school.”

“No…” Kris whispered while breathing heavily. “No, doctor…” Tears were filling her eyes immediately and she tried to get on her feet again.

“Shhh. It’s ok sweetie. I stay with you…you don’t have to be afraid.” Jon tightened his grip on her. He could feel her trembling stronger…she’s really scared, he thought.

I really hate doctors, she said yesterday. But why? What happened that a sixteen year old girl was so scared of doctors?

“I won’t leave you alone, sweetie…it’s ok…shhh…..don’t cry, Kris.” He smoothed her all the way upstairs and was glad that she pressed herself stronger against him and seemed to calm down.

Carefully Jon laid her down on her bed. Kris breathing seemed to be more labored from minute to minute. He ran over to one of the guest rooms and grabbed a couple of pillows. Back in Kris’ room he put them behind her back, so she was nearly sitting.

“Better?” he asked. She nodded, her breathing still labored, but it was easier for her now.

Sweat was running down her flushed face. Jon touched her hand softly. “Kris?” She opened her eyes and tried to focus on him. He moved his hands to the waistband of her jeans. “Ok?” he asked. She nodded.

He pulled her jeans down and realized that it was soaked with sweat. Shit, how high was her temperature? Grabbing her sleep shirt he frowned when feeling that it was as wet as her jeans. Walking into her closet he realized that she didn’t have anything else to wear right now. We really need to buy her more clothes he thought and ran over to his bedroom to grab one of his NY Giants shirts. It would be big enough.

Walking back into her room he could see her shivering. “Cold, sweetie?” he asked. She nodded coughing.

“Ok, come here. I’ll help to change into the shirt…” He propped her up slowly. Kris moaned. Everything was spinning. “…can you raise your arms, sweetie?” Gently he pulled her pullover over her half raised arms. Shit! Bra…how? He frowned. This was ridiculous, but he didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable.

Her body slumped against his. She just didn’t have to power to sit straight anymore. Fast he opened the clasp of her bra and pushed the straps over her shoulders. Grabbing her right hand, he pressed it between her breasts, so she held her bra in place. He pushed his shirt over her head and let it fall to her knees. When she took her hand away the bra felt down in her lap. Jon smiled proudly. It worked.

“You are way too complicated.” Kris whispered when Jon laid her back into the pillows. He kissed her cheek and put the thermometer in her mouth. “I know, sweetie.”

A couple minutes later Dot walked in. “Are you already back, darling?” Jon asked surprised. He didn’t realize how long it took him to settle Kris down. She nodded.

“How high is her temperature?” Dot asked concerned.

“We will know in a minute.” Jon said. Kris handed him the thermometer back with trembling hands.

“Shit!” Jon said. Dot looked over his shoulder. “39.9 °C (103.8 °F)” Jon added. Dot was already on the way to the bathroom.

“Dr. Miller said we should not give her any medication before he’s here. It could hide the symptoms.” She carefully put a cold washcloth on Kris’ forehead. Jon frowned.

“And when will he be here?” he didn’t like the idea of his daughter suffering and the fever was way too high. That could be really dangerous.

The next second the doorbell rang. “There he is.” Dot said and walked downstairs to let him in.

“I don’t need a doctor.” Kris whispered. Jon looked at her. He could see panic in her eyes.

“Sweetie, you do need a doctor.” She shook her head vehemently. “Yes, you do, sweetie…” He ran his hand through her sweaty hair. “…I’ll stay with you…ok?…you don’t have to be afraid….he’s a real nice guy. Steph and Jesse like him a lot. You really don’t have to be afraid.” Jon could see that his smoothing wasn’t really working. Kris looked like she wanted to jump up and run away. Why was she so scared?

“Good morning, Jon.” Dr. Miller said walking through the door his small silver suitcase in his hand. He was mid forty already a bit of grey in his dark hair, glasses on his nose and behind them always calm and twinkling eyes. He was a very relaxed person. Even Steph biting him or Jesse kicking him in his balls didn’t make him swear or losing his temper. He was always gentle and patient with his patients, especially with kids.

He could see the minute he walked in that the young woman in bed was scared. It seemed that Dorothea was right, a bad experience with a doctor probably when she was a young girl. He would have to be very patient with her, but also careful. Fear is a powerful emotion that could let people do things they never thought of before. He really didn’t want to get hurt today and that only would make her feel worse.

“Hey, doc. Thanks for coming so fast.” Jon shook his hand.

“No problem.” He turned to Kris. “And you are Kris?” She just stared at him; tears were running down her face. She was deeply scared. “It’s ok…sweetheart. I’m sure we will get along.” He patted her hand. Kris moved it away immediately.

Jon looked at Dot worried. How the hell should he examine her if she wouldn’t let him touch her? But the doc seemed relaxed and smiled at Kris.

“How high is her temperature?” he asked.

“39.9°C” Jon answered.

“Ok….Kris, would it be ok for you if I auscultate you?” He opened his bag and took out his stethoscope. “You know this, right?” He showed it to her. “It won’t hurt.”

Kris nodded slightly. “Come here, sweetie. I’ll help you sit up.” Jon sat down next to her and steadied her. He could feel Kris trembling and ran his hand softly through her hair. Kissing her cheek he asked “Ok?”

She only looked at him; the fear still present in her eyes. When Doc Miller gently put the stethoscope on her back she winced and her breathing sped up. The doc met Jon’s eyes over Kris’ shoulder. He was concerned; it seemed that she expected pain.

“Could you cough please Kris?” He asked softly. Kris did and was barely able to stop again. Still panting for air Jon let her sink into the pillows again. The doc sat down on the bed and looked at her.

“Are you in pain? Does anything hurt?” He asked. Kris shook her head no, only the coughing hurt a bit and she felt dizzy.

“Would you let me touch your throat?” Trembling Kris closed her eyes and put her head in the neck. Jon softly caressed her right hand.

“Ok, thanks.” He smiled at her. Turning to Jon and Dot he said. “Her tonsils aren’t swollen; I think she has a real bad cold which also influenced her bronchia. That’s why she is breathing so heavily and has fever. I will prescribe you some medication and will check on her the day after tomorrow again. If it’s not getting better or worse you can call me before, of course.”

He handed Dot the prescription and looked at Kris apologetic. “Nevertheless I would like to take a blood sample to make sure that she doesn’t have something else that’s only covered by the cold. That could be very dangerous especially at the respiratory tracts.”

“Ok.” Jon nodded.

“I go and get the medicine.” Dot said and walked out. They needed something to bring the fever down as fast as possible.

Kris just looked at them shocked. No, please…no blood sample. While the doc took the necessary items out of his suitcase, she tried to get off the bed.

“Kris?” Jon watched her confused. She seemed to activate all her remaining strength to get out of the bed. He walked over to her and tried to push her back into the pillows, but she defended oneself against him. Jon was shocked. He’d never expected that.

“Sweetie? Shhh….it’s ok….shhhh.” Jon tried to calm her.

“I don’t want that.” She said sobbing.

Jon pulled her into his arms and cradled her softly. “Oh, sweetie, I don’t like it either, but it’s necessary. And I’m here…yeah?” She only started sobbing stronger.

Doc Miller watched the interaction between father and daughter. It was obvious that she was close to panic and Jon wasn’t just ignoring that and forcing her to lie down like he had seen it a lot in his carrier.

Something caused her fear and he really wanted to know what. Maybe?…she was hiding especially her right arm…maybe that was the answer to her fear.

“Kris…” she winched and didn’t look at him. “Kris…here look I have no syringe in my hands, come on sweetheart turn around.” She slowly released her grip on Jon’s shoulders. “See?” He wiggled his hands. Kris smiled sniffing.

“Can I have a look at your right arm?” he could see her tense. “I just want to look, I don’t want to take the sample there…just a look.” He added.

Hesitant Kris stretched out her arm. When Jon pushed the way too long sleeves up her arm a 3 inch scar right in her crook of the arm became visible. Jon gasped. It never caught his eye. The doc carefully ran his fingers over the scar. It was increased and hard.

“That did hurt!” he said. Kris nodded sobbing.

“How old have you been?” he asked.

“Nearly six.” She whispered. Jon closed his eyes. How could you let your six year old girl alone at the doctor? He would never ever let Steph or Jesse alone, they were only so calm because Dot or he are there. They knew nothing bad could happen as long as Mommy and Daddy were there.

Turning to Jon the doc explained “Those scars happen when you aren’t carefully while taking blood samples….and it’s painful.” Jon clenched his teeth. That’s why she’s so scared.

The doc softly caressed her cheek “I’m sorry, Kris. I’ll give you a salve so it won’t arch anymore, but it will never go away completely. I promise to be very careful…ok?”

Tears ran again down her face. “I can’t control it.” She whispered.

“I know. It’s not easy to control such a fear….You can do what ever you want to. You can scream, you can kick or call me names, but you have to keep your arm …” he patted her left arm. “…still.”

She nodded and let herself sink back into the pillows. Jon kissed her forehead. “I’m here, sweetie.”

Kris reached out and pulled him down to her. She hid her face in his shoulder; actually she was curling herself into him except her left arm. She lay randomly twisted on the bed. When Jon tried to pull back while the doc put the tourniquet on her arm. Kris tightened her grip and said “No!” in a pleading voice.

“It’s ok, Jon. You can hold her like that. It’s not an encumbrance to me.” Doc Miller said. Kris calmed down a bit again.

“Ok, Kris…now it’s getting a bit cold.” The doc said. She sobbed and pressed herself stronger against Jon. He put his mouth to her left ear and whispered “I’m here, sweetie...everything will be ok, it’s over soon, you aren’t alone…no one will hurt you, I’ll protect you, sweetie…I’ll protect you!”

In the next second Kris screamed, not because it was that painful, but she was expecting it to hurt much more. All those feelings and pictures from years ago came back. All those people who were holding her down, the cold hands which were stretching her arm. She could see the blood dripping from her arm again, hear the doctor who told her it was all her fault and she could hear herself crying for her mother, but she wasn’t there.

Jon could feel her fingernails in his shoulder, but he didn’t care. He kept on whispering smoothing words in her ear.

“You are doing great, Kris…I’m nearly done, sweetheart…I’m nearly done.” Doc Miller encouraged her. She didn’t move her arm a single inch.

“So, that’s it.” As soon as he let go of her arm she pulled it close to her body and started crying uncontrollable.

The doc packed his stuff together. “I’ll find my way out, Jon. Stay with her. I’ll have the results when I check on her the next time.”

“Ok, thanks Doc.“ Jon said and watched him leaving.

After a while Kris let go off him and felt in an exhausted sleep.